Michigan was lightly snow cloaked that December afternoon & I was so nervous that I was shaking. We had to break open Lindsay’s wine in order for me to calm down. I just couldn’t believe it was all happening. The drama of the moment was quickly spreading, like little licks of flame. Earlier, Gwen had walked me around the church. We sat in the sanctuary, listened to the icy rain hit the chapel ceiling, prayed, & cried. I would've cried constantly too, out of nerves & bursting, if my bridesmaids weren't making me laugh so much.
I remember the scenes of that day as a blurred film strip. My makeup was finished & then suddenly I was in the white dress & in the foyer. The groomsmen were grinning at me & the flower girls were engulfing me with, “You look like bridal Barbie! Can we see your shoes? I want to hold your flowers!” The violin & banjo had started. The procession line was moving. My dad was looking at me, & before we knew it, we were both sobbing. Barb, our coordinator, was giving directions & then we were walking arm-in-arm in the trees with twinkling lights. My dad kept whispering, "This is really happening, I can't believe I'm walking you down the aisle right now", & I couldn’t look at Dan. Really, I couldn’t. I would've exploded on the spot. Not until the very end did I look at him. Fingers laced & a little breathless, we spoke our vows. The songs were sung, the bread was torn, & we found ourselves flying back down the aisle to Coldplay's Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall. The opening chords pounded deep within the chapel's chest as we ran with flowers around our necks, the kiss of blessing on both of our cheeks, leaving us starry-eyed & moment struck.
I’ll never forget the feeling I had that night, there’s nothing like it. {to note: we had a very long night. Being the daughter of a pastor, we ended up hosting two receptions on our wedding day!} The lunch reception at our church was filled with cheers & toasts & our great giddiness. Our dinner party in the woods floated along like a dream: a sea of couples slow dancing below hanging lights & Christmas trees. Our families & cousins crowded together making jokes. My new nephew telling everyone, "I'm going to marry Aunt Alisha & put Uncle Dan in the closet." The older women & grandparents looking at us teary-eyed. Our friends acting insane on the dance floor. My dad, so proud of everything around him. My brother, supporting me in ways I’ve never imagined. Dan was looking at me like I was finally his for good, like I was the brightest, most adored bride in the entire world.
People have shared with me their different memories they have from that night: our faith-centered ceremony, our winter dinner reception, the wedding music set lists, & the cheesy potatoes & homemade chocolate cheesecake. I love hearing those memories about our day because I honestly need the reminder. Marriage can be hard, the work can be exhausting. But choosing our love, our commitment, has been worth everything.
My dad compared our wedding & receptions to a glimpse of what heaven must be: a glittering, never ending celebration. That's how I want to see marriage now, a constant celebration of God's love for the church, a husband for his bride, & a bride for her husband.
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Photography: Amanda Vanvels Photography